It was 3.30 am when I decided I should go to sleep since I gotta work tomorrow. Lying down on the bed with my eyes closed, I remember having vision of my cycling journey. It feels almost as a dreams. I can picture myself on the road with my bike, meeting other peoples from another country, happily camp by the road seeing stars by the night...
Then all of sudden, I had a panic attack. It was like those phobia kind of panic attack where my heart beats very fast and I feel very scare. What did I see in those dreams ? It was actually seeing her with another guy... I have no idea why that vision gave me a panic attack. I really don't want to experience that kind of thing again. After all, I decided, I wished for her happiness and if I cant give that to her, others should do it.
I just wished I can have non-over thinking brain and sometimes, less good memories...
Stanley
